I wrote this for Ricochet, but I want to share it more widely.
Many years ago I was involved with the single’s ministry at a large church. As the area where I live has a large military population, there were lots of young, unattached people in need of this ministry. It was a wonderful group that saw me and a great many others through a rough and tumble period of life. One of the greatest things to come from the experience was a group of men.
Several of us young men drew together to form a discipleship/accountability group. We studied together, prayed together, cried together, ate together, but above all else, we formed the kinds of lasting bonds that can carry a man through life. We called ourselves Seekers. Of the dozen or so men in the group I remain emotionally close to many of them. I wrote a few years ago about one of those friendships. Though life has relocated several to other parts of the country, we still remain in contact, and we all know the others are there for us whatever the need.
When my world exploded last year one of the first things I did was reach out to these men, my brothers. They came through for me with prayer and encouragement in ways indescribable. Their support carried me when I lacked the strength to even put one foot in front of the other on the difficult path I trod. Also during that time I was informed that one of our other members was facing great legal difficulty as well.
This particular young man was a special sort. After he finished his time in the Navy he followed his calling to ministry, earned his MDiv, and became a pastor. I celebrated his ordination, his nuptials, and the births of his children through Facebook postings and the occasional direct communication. Everything seemed to be going perfectly, and then the message came from one of the other brothers that this once godly young man, father and pastor, was in serious trouble. He had been caught in an FBI sting for child pornography.
The brother offered the excuse that it was all a mistake, that he had merely fallen prey to bad search results, etc. According to the few news stories I’ve located over 3000 images were found on his computer. He pled guilty to charges last year and was sentenced to 8 years in federal prison. He’ll carry with him the scarlet letter of his crimes and sin for the rest of his days. He’s disqualified himself from ministry. I have no information on whether or not his marriage will survive, or if he’s lost that as well. I’ve done what I can initially by calling together the Seekers to intercede for him in prayer. I’ve distributed his contact information to those who might wish to encourage him directly.
I faced the possibility of being in his shoes (though unjustly), and I am reminded that I am always one bad decision, one slip of virtue away from becoming him. I am instructed by his situation of the perilous game we play with sin. As James would remind us, the result of sin is death. It is only by the grace of God that any of us escapes being fully overcome by the dark nature from which we are saved. This situation affirms that it is a gamble we cannot take, a game we cannot win. No height is too great from which to fall.
In my heart I am torn. The platitude to “hate the sin and love the sinner” is put to its most grueling test when one to whom we are so emotionally and spiritually connected is overcome by sin and must suffer the consequences of his actions. With ease I could just forget him, and I could simply wash my hands of his memory. I could forget the bond of brotherhood we formed on our knees praying together for strength to be the men we were called to be. It will take the real power and love of God working in me to not abandon him. I will write to him. I will uphold him in prayer. I will be to him the brother I would hope others would be to me were I in his shoes.
I asked once what others would do should a close friend turn out to be the worst kind of sinner. I must now answer the question myself, and not merely as a hypothetical.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSF2C2amor0
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