I spent the entire weekend being a spoiled brat. I was throwing a temper tantrum. I laid on the floor of my spirituality kicking and screaming. I cried out not to God but at God. I couldn't immediately have what I wanted, and I was fighting, crying mad. I went toe-to-toe with the my Heavenly Father. I was a tired and distraught toddler and a rebellious teenager all rolled into one. I yelled and screamed. I stomped my foot. I thrust my fist to the sky and accused my gracious, loving father of being anything but gracious and loving. In His mercy God demonstrated His perfect patience. With gentleness and kindness He endured my fit and restored me in love. He was the father to me that I desperately long to be to my children.
I still do not have what I was screaming for this weekend. God did not placate me and capitulating to my ranting. He stood firm as only a Holy Father can. He stood firm in His love for me, knowing what truly is my highest good. I wanted something else. I placed something above Him in my love and esteem. An object (though good in and of itself) became my greatest treasure. But God has a better way. What He gave me in place of what I demanded was Himself. He suffers no idols, not even the good things we elevate above their station. He will be first in my heart even if my entire life must be violently ripped away from me so that only He remains. He loves me that much. It is His nature and character to be and do so. If His love for me is so infinite that not even the life of His own Son was an impediment to restoring my right relationship to Him, then surely my lowly, earthly concerns cannot stand in the way. If God sent His only Son to die a horrific death on the cross to effect my salvation, then there is nothing on this earth He will not sacrifice to continue the work He started in me through sanctification and ultimately complete it in glorification.
To some this may sound harsh. It may sound like I have a stern faced, cruel Father, but it is not true. What is true is the gospel of Jesus Christ. The truth is that God so loves me that He gave Himself up on a cruel Roman cross to restore me to a right relationship with Him. The Creator of the universe...the eternally existing God gave Himself up for me as a perfect sacrifice. Or, as Paul put it in his letter to the Colossians:
For the entire fullness of God’s nature dwells bodily in Christ, and you have been filled by Him, who is the head over every ruler and authority. You were also circumcised in Him with a circumcision not done with hands, by putting off the body of flesh, in the circumcision of the Messiah. Having been buried with Him in baptism, you were also raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. And when you were dead in trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive with Him and forgave us all our trespasses. He erased the certificate of debt, with its obligations, that was against us and opposed to us, and has taken it out of the way by nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and disgraced them publicly; He triumphed over them by Him. (Col 2:9-15)There is too much in this passage to take in at once. The very first sentence is too big for my intellect. Not only is the entire fullness of the eternal, infinite God fully in the body of Christ, but I, this guy...this worthless sinner...have been filled by Him. The mind explodes! My entire being reels with this idea, this truth, this reality. My only right response is to fall on my face in worship...joyful, tear filled, elated, emotional, exuberant praise to the very God of gods who loves me and has pledged himself in an unbreakable covenant to me. As Thomas put it, my Lord and my God!
This is barely the tip of the iceberg. I've written nothing about the death of my old self or birth of the new. I've not touched on the absolute elimination of my debt of rebellion (which just about rivals Paul's). Jesus has become my treasure. Christ in me is all I need to know. It is enough. In this my joy is complete. All other things have fallen away in the light of this beautiful mystery. Even the thing, the very good thing, I was throwing a fit over this weekend. My perfect Heavenly Father demonstrated perfect fatherly love to me. I have been clued in.
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